CHAPTER SEVENTY THREE
Lucy and her guru sitting in a tree. K-i-ss-ing. First comes love then comes marriage then comes a baby in a baby carriage.
That’s the song that was going through Lucy’s mind as she looking into the eyes of Sleepy Eyes. She wanted to look away but she couldn’t. She was locked in. Or Sleepy Eyes was locked in. Lucy could see Sleepy Eyes moving her mouth but she had no idea what she was saying. She could only hear her own thoughts in her head. She was thinking about her guru. Her guru was still eating her up. She conjured up a picture of a brush in her brain and imagined sweeping away those thoughts, but she couldn’t brush them away. Those thoughts kept circling. What did her guru look like now? Did he age well? Did it matter? She felt safe with her guru. She remembered how safe she felt on her island with her guru teaching her preparation headstands and then the headstands themselves. How it good it felt to have all the blood rush to your head and then have an older man, tanned and well defined, gently guide you into poses that unlocked the secret energies of the body, of the universe itself. Yes. She had puked. But she was still desiring the holy. Was she supposed to desire the holy still? Maybe she wanted the holy more now that she had puked.
Slowly she watched herself stand up and then sit down. She watched Sleepy Eyes guide her to the other side of the room and open her gown. Lucy opened her gown too. When she looked at Lucy’s chest she saw buttons, levers, mechanical wheels. Lucy tried to rub her eyes but she couldn’t move her arms.
Slowly she sat down with her robe open. Her eyes still locked to Sleepy Eyes.